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But that’s not to say they aren’t complex structures. (That’s why squid researchers tend to translate “spermatophore” as sperm package rather than sperm bag.) Each spermatophore includes an ejaculatory apparatus, which can expel the sperm mass quite forcefully, and a cement body for attachment. Of course, neither of those is a needle or a knife—the sort of thing you’d expect to need for actual implantation (into either a female squid or a human mouth). I’ve written a bit about this mystery before. As it turns out, no one is quite sure how spermatophores implant themselves into skin.
But whatever the details, it’s happened to humans more than once. An earlier case study reports “sperm stings” from consumption of raw squid, but the recent Journal of Parasitology paper is the first report I’ve seen of spermatophore activity in a cooked squid (parboiled, to be specific). That’s … quite impressive, actually.
See! See! I don’t fux with no squid. No sir. No ma’am.